I'm What She Used to Be

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Early Monday morning, Michelle had arrived with a camera following close behind at the US Bank arena, which would host Warfare in just a few hours. She made it a point to be focused when she arrived, and not get distracted. The same as any other day at work for her. She was now, much to her pleasure, the EBWF Women’s champion. The way she walked showed she was proud too. But she was uncharacteristically silent. Tonight, she’d be facing Trish Stratus. The only other time she’d been in the ring with the quintessential diva was at the 2014 Royal Rumble Pay Per View. And now, her first match as champion would be against a former champion. Actually, the woman who’d held the very title she wore now for the longest in company history. She knew Trish Stratus was not someone to take lightly. She needed to be on top of her game, and was going to prove winning the title wasn’t a mistake. But in her mind, there wasn’t much else climbing for her to do. At least at the moment.

The area was already set up for her, with cameras, a backdrop, and her interviewer not too far away. After a brief exchange with one of the producers, she left to a room to change. Moments, later, the scene is ready for action and the footage is streamed live to the company website.

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As the video begins, the EBWF.net “online exclusive” logo is seen in the bottom left corner. Renee Young comes into view, but she doesn’t bear her usual welcoming, glowing demeanor. Instead, she keeps looking off to her left, shaking her head slightly with a look of confusion on her face. Footsteps can be heard as someone is approaching.

Renee Young: Hello EBWF universe. Right now I’m in Cincinatti getting ready for Warfare tonight. I’ve had a great opportunity come up. In just a few seconds, I will get an interview with the one and only Trish Strat…

She paused and caught herself.

Renee Young: I don’t see why you’re making me go along with this, can’t you just be… yourself?

She was now facing off camera, apparently speaking to someone. When the camera zoomed out to bring the second person into the scene, it was not Trish Stratus. It was Michelle McCool, in a Trish Stratus get up: The classic sleeveless leather trench coat, and a black cowboy hat. The EBWF Women’s title was fastened around her waist.

Michelle: Way to ruin the fun, Renee. Of course I can be myself. That’s what I’m best at.

She smiled, basically basking in her own self-proclaimed glory. It showed because she was looking off camera and smiling at no one in particular. When she seemed to snap back to reality, she returned her attention to Renee. The charismatic interviewer found herself giving Michelle a look of “Are you kidding me right now”, unable to contain it. She then looked back into the camera and picked up where she left off, letting Michelle stand beside her with a hand on her hip.

Renee Young: I’m actually here with our newest Women’s Champion, in her first interview since winning the title at Aftermath, Michelle McCool. Michelle, how do you feel now that you’ve got the gold? Since stepping foot in this company you’ve made it clear that obtaining the women’s title has been your goal, and now you have it. What’s next?

Michelle: We’re not here to talk about that, Renee.

Renee Young: ...We’re not?

Michelle rolled her eyes and shook her head, irritated at Renee’s supposed lack of awareness.

Michelle: No. I have a match at warfare against Trish Stratus! It’s gonna be all the buzz. THAT is what you should be talking to me about. Well, let’s be honest, I’m going be telling you about it. You’ve always been a good listener Renee, but when it comes to talking, that’s not your strong suit. Especially with that lisp. You should get speech therapy or something. That actually exists, you know… I googled it after our last interview. It was that much of a distraction.

Renee couldn’t help but smile in the diva’s face and shot back a response of her own.

Renee Young: This isn’t about me either, Michelle, so if you could please explain why exactly you’re dressed up as Trish Stratus?

Michelle huffed softly before finding her words. She too ended up giving a smirk of her own, amused.

Michelle: This obviously isn’t a costume party. You wouldn’t have got the memo if that were the case, being the party pooper you are. I have a legitimate reason for wearing this. I’m dressed like this because I am what Trish used to be. A champion, the diva at the top… Blonde.

A few months ago, Trish had a few opinions to share, with you actually. Right? So you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. For once. A lot of what she said was true. Eva Marie sucks, and so do Eve and Maria. I don’t even know if they’re on the roster anymore. And her description of Velvet Sky was shockingly accurate, and still holds truth! She really knows what she’s talking about, doesn’t she? I mean, she even went as far to say that I’m nothing like her, and… That’s true too. Trish Stratus is absolutely right, I am NOTHING like her. Let’s make that very clear. I, Michelle McCool, am better than her. Like I’m said, I’m exactly what Trish used to be. Especially without this tasteless trench coat. This thing is hideous. Trish needs to go crawl back into her hole. Wherever that may be. I don’t really care.

Michelle slipped out of the coat and tossed it on the ground at her feet, kicking it away dramatically, before removing the cowboy hat on her head and placing it on Renee’s head. Renee did not look amused, and instead stood unmoving, keeping the mic held up in Michelle’s direction. When it was obvious she wasn’t going to remove the hat, Michelle reached out tentatively and knocked it off her head.

Michelle: That was for your own sake, trust me. Anyways, with all of that said about Trish, that’s not to say she hasn’t earned her stripes in the EBWF. She’s the longest holder of the very belt around my waist. That’s not something a nobody can achieve. Trish Stratus isn’t someone to take lightly. Well, she wasn’t someone to take lightly. Recently she hasn’t been doing much. And look, she conveniently flutters back into the spotlight. Her first appearance in god knows how long last week at Warfare turned heads. Funny how it was during Angelina Love’s match, too. You know, her being high profile and all. Now she’s stepping in the ring with me, the Women’s Champion. I don’t know what you all are thinking, but this seems like another desperate attempt to relive the glory days. Just like that time she was on that flop of a tv show Armed and Famous. Or, to keep things relevant, the Royal Rumble. In January. That I won. At least she can still put on a show…

Be on a show… Or something.

The diva shrugged and unclasped the belt from her waist, positioning up on her shoulder and looking to it briefly.

Michelle: I have this belt for a reason. If Trish thinks she’s just gonna waltz back in and take over this division, she may be going senile. That sounds like a case of taking one too many bumps to the head. Better get your head checked. 

Better yet, why don't you save that doctor's appointment until after our match, when you'll really need it. I may decide to break your face while I'm at it. We can't have you walking around looking like a monkey's rear end.

She gasped suddenly, bring a hand to her mouth to cover it in mock disappointment. Renee took an apprehensive step back.

Michelle: Oh wait! You already do!

Meanwhile, all Renee Young had been able to do was listen to Michelle go on and on. It seemed the interview was drawing to its end.

Renee Young: So Michelle, any last words for your opponent before meeting her in the ring tonight?

Michelle shook her head, pretending to wipe away tears.

Michelle: No Renee, I'll do the rest of my talking in the ring. See you there, girly.

And just like that, Michelle left and the scene was calm. Renee looked into the camera.

Renee Young: That was your new Women's Champion, everyone. Be sure to tune in to Warfare Monday night to see her and the one and only Trish Stratus in one on one action. Thanks for watching!

The video ended with the fade out into the EBWF logo.